Life in the Slow Lane

Tick.
At 11am on the 28th September 2010, I was a company employee.  At 11.30am I was an ex-employee and, at the same time, joined the ranks of the Jobless.  I remember saying then that I could be out of work until Christmas.  That seemed to be the worst case scenario.  And here I still am.
There are a few consequences of being unemployed that might not be immediately obvious to those who haven't experienced it.
One of those is the effect that being idle has on Time.  I had always thought of Time as a non-variable commodity.  An hour is an hour no matter how you fill it.  But that is not the case.  We've all experienced this to some degree.  You are late for an important meeting and stuck in traffic.  The dashboard clock in the car is a blur as the numbers flash round closer and closer to your meeting time while you get more and more frustrated. Minutes feel like seconds.
The reverse is true for the Jobless. I quickly realised that if I was going to survive a long period without work, I would have to find things to occupy my mind.  I also realised that I was going to have to get used to doing things more slowly than I was used to.  I even started walking more slowly - after all there's no rush; I've got all day.  Deadlines are something for those with a job.
I had not factored in the devious nature of Time.  Time is evil and when it sees that you are trying to defeat its purposes, it slows down with you. 
Try doing absolutely nothing for - say - five minutes. Don't read or watch tv.  Just sit and keep an eye on the clock.  After about thirty seconds you feel that you have been up all day and it must be time for bed!  The distance between tick and tock becomes unbearably long and the rest of the day stretches out before you into infinity.  And there will be another one tomorrow and the day after.
Of course there are always little jobs to do around the house - especially if you have a resourceful partner - and this can help.  But still Time can frustrate you. A job that normally takes two hours to do when you haven't got two hours to spare, only takes 45 minutes when you have all day to do it.  Everything just falls into place and you find that you are unaccountably efficient.  That screwdriver is exactly where you first looked for it; the screws didn't stick or the heads get mashed up; when you put everything back together again there aren't two pieces left over and everything works perfectly.  And while you are doing it you are acutely aware that the clock on the wall is ticking in a basso profundo, like an old vinyl record played at the wrong speed.
Damn - I typed too quickly.
Tock